Most of you have spent that week out every night, drunk off your ass at various holiday functions, doing things you probably regret. Way to nearly hook up with that sexually-ambiguous, dark-eyed freelance photographer! (We think he really is homosexual, by the way, or he would have been all up in that shared cab ride to Brooklyn.) Luckily, some of you have still found day to comment, and our comment arbiter Lolcait thanks you for that. that season, remember–it’s all about giving.

As a Sad Secular, I fully accept the concept that I am ruining Christmas, Community, and even Spirituality as a whole. It’s just a fact of that sniveling, empty existence of mine (and many of yours) that I’ll be forever the lonely Grinch, perched high in my mountain lair, grumbling about how delight is ruining us (both the emotion and Behar). But thereupon, hark! What did I manufacture out that week, lo from the Valley of Ellagood? Wonderful words, piercing the grim murk and shadows I’ve tried to cast by it. Five Whos that just may prove the existence of something larger.

From KARENUHOH in Channeling Drag Queen, 7-Year Old Belts It Out On ‘Today”:
“Tragically, he does not fit in Al Roker’s roasting pan.”

From SCROLL_LOCK in Liza Minelli Collapses, Does Not Die:
“Not to be upstaged, Anthony G promptly threw himself down the stairs of his Barbie Dream House.”

From

SHE_OF_THE_SOCKS in Mumble Core Menace Infects Our Nation’s Vulnerable Film Students!:
“I was looking for that final little push I needed to finally go ahead and commit suicide. Thanks Gawker!”

From COLONEL MUSTARD in ‘Times’ PR Queen Catherine Mathis Promoted, Will Now Take by World:
“Betcha she was on the yearbook committee in high school.
‘Oh look! It’s another picture of CATHERINE MATHIS with her many, many friends!’”

From PANDORASPOCKS in Some Of Our Favorite Things Of 2007:
“Cheer up Emily. Nothing is okay.”

Hmm. Actually, most of those are pretty depressing sentiments. So, I guess you’re on my side. Yay! Let’s dig into that sack of coal and see what diamond you’ve selected as your Party Pick. Ah yes, here it is.

From FILEUNDER in New York’s Casanova Paul Janka Uses Looney Tunes To Nail Girls:
“Paul Janka wrote ‘Put Your Legs On My Shoulders’”

Miserable. All of it depressing. Let’s go rough-up some of those Salvation Army bell ringers.

Original post by Sheila

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